Toilet Huggin’ Hippy

I’m starting to seriously doubt the benefits of all this healthy living, fresh air, nature, exercise and all that. In fact, after a nearly a month of clean living I’m now under the impression that it was the alcohol in my bloodstream that was responsible for preserving whatever healthy genes I had.

I’ve been feeling pretty ill this last week, most of us in the house have. If many more of us get it, by the time it gets round to the last person I think the virus should have sufficiently mutated that the first person can go again. It’s been pretty grim anyway, large periods of feeling lightheaded and dizzy interspaced with occasional vomiting. The other night I had to sleep with both my bedroom and the bathroom door wide open for fear they might impede my progress. Still at least it’s only throwing up, and not down as well. I’ve had bugs here where you sprint to the toilet and are caught in indecision as to which end to point at it first.

I bet all of you guys who were moaning last year about how little I wrote are questioning your judgment now. Still, it’s only right that now I have this platform that I use it to deal with these issues in such a delicate and tasteful manner. It could have been worse you know. There was a brief moment the other night while I was lying shivering under my blanket on the toilet floor, face rested on my porcelain pillow, when it occurred to me, should I be getting someone to photograph this for my blog? You’ll be glad to see as you scroll down the page that I didn’t. In fact when Karen called through to see if there was anything she could do to help, I decided against even broaching the subject.

Anyway, I am feeling much better now and am trying to settle back in to doing some work. You can read into this that I am at least at my desk, even if I have just been checking my e-mails, writing this blog and sticking my pencil into the blades of my desk fan.

Oh, one last thing. One of Simone’s friends, Rita, is here from London. She is a T.V. producer and has been working recently in both the U.K. and the States on that Wife Swap show. What do you think dad, shall I have a word?